Its been a while....

Yes its been quite some time since I last posted! The good news is though that I actually have something to post. Its not long but it was really hard for me because I don't do dialogue all that well. As usual all feedback welcome! Here goes...


The wind whipped her hair up into a frenzy of dancing curls that lashed across her face. Carrie stared out at the vast expanse of treacherous sea before her. Despite not actually venturing onto the pier she still felt vulnerable. She clutched at the thick metal railings in front of her, whispering a silent prayer that the sea not rise up against the promenade where she stood and wash her away. She shivered at the thought.

“Hey you”
Carrie turned to see Nick grinning at her.
“Fantastic, don’tcha think?” he said, gesturing towards the waves.
“Not really”
Nick just sighed. She’d been pretty negative since the meeting with Galen and the rest of the council.
“Carrie…”
“What Nick? What?”
Sensing the irritable tone in her voice, Nick decided to leave well alone.
“Nothing”. He paused. “How about some fish and chips”.
Carrie snorted “is your stomach all you can think about? Do you just not care?”
“Of course I care Carrie! How could you think I don’t?! Just because I don’t stand around with a face as long as the morning traffic jam on the M25 doesn’t mean I don’t care! Eddie was my friend too. The point is she didn’t just die in some random accident. She was murdered Carrie, murdered. You have to stop being so selfish and wallowing. We need to find who killed her, and most important of all” he dropped his voice to a whisper “who has the artefact”.
She turned to meet his eyes and with a deep breath drew herself up to full height
“Selfish?! You think it’s selfish to grieve for a friend?! What’s happened to you Nick? Not too long ago you would have been wallowing too. Have they hardened you that much that you no longer feel?”.
With her outburst over she took one last look at Nick, trying to discern any emotion in his eyes before giving up and leaving the promenade. He didn’t bother to follow; he had something else to do.

A stab at chapter one

Things are not going well with the writing. It was a while ago that I wrote that prologue and it was for something completely different. What it does mean is that I'm really out of practice and I haven't really put together any ideas for a new story.

I have tried this week to write something but I'm not happy with it. I'm going to post it anyway as I've re-written this short bit so many times that I need someone elses opinio about it!

Also I think anyone who keeps popping in deserves to at least have something new to look at!

Chapter 1 (a first, partial attempt)

Annie hated mornings. She was definitely not a morning person. The sun shone brightly through the thick curtains and badgered her to wake. Groaning she rolled over, away from the window, grabbed a pillow from under her head and wrapped it around her head. Surely it was far too early to be up? That question was shortly answered when the alarm next to her head started buzzing and beeping intermittently. Annie groped wildly at the alarm, pillow still clamped to her head. Eventually she found it and managed to switch it off. It was too late, she was wide-awake now and no amount of trying was going to get her back to sleep.

Sighing she rolled out of bed and glowered at the sunlight streaming through the crack between the curtains. She had to get up and go to work sometime but she was pretty sure there were better ways of waking up that made you feel less like you’d been hit round the head a few times. On the chair at the end of the bed was a towel, which Annie threw over her shoulder as she headed towards the shower. It was already beginning to feel as if this was going to be a long day.


It was 9am by the time she reached her office that morning. There had been an accident towards the bottom of the main road the campus was on and she had been stuck on a bus for the last half an hour. So near and yet so far. Her earlier prediction was turning out to be all too true. Tucking her bag under the desk she switched on the computer and went to make herself a cup of coffee. By the time she had returned her computer had booted up and she was just about to open up her e-mail account when she noticed a small envelope on her desk.

Introduction

For anyone who happens upon this random piece of writing, first let me say its not meant to be any good. I like to practice a bit of story telling now and then and this seemed the perfect way. This is all my own work and copyrighted as such.

The other thing I want to say is that I will be putting draft bits as well as final pieces up and I would welcome comments. I've set up the comment thingy so that anyone can leave a comment ( you don't need to register or sign in or anything like that). I'd really appreciate feedback so don't be shy! You don't even have to give a name as there is the facility to leave an annonymous message.

Finally I ask for your patience. I will eventually finish it off but it may take a while!

Thank you for reading

Sarah x

Artefact: Prologue (Draft 1)

Rain. Nothing but thick, heavy waves of rain lashed across her face. Even if the moon had been full tonight the trees would still have been swallowed up by this weather. The woman paused, listening out for any signs that she was being followed. There was nothing except the splashing of the rain and the rustle of the leaves in the wind. It was cold tonight, and combined with the rain she was chilled to the bone. Not that it mattered. It was too important for her to give up now. Too much was resting on this. Her brief had been simple. Disguise herself, follow the clues and find the artefact, before he did. It wasn’t meant to be an easy task but could the weather not have been better? Sighing, she pushed away the sodden strands of hair that clung to her face. Not much further now. She could feel it.

The trees began to thin and it wasn’t long before she reached a small clearing. Her eyes darted around, furtively glancing at the surrounding trees for any signs of life. There was nothing. No creatures ventured near this clearing, not even the bats she had seen on her way through the forest. Cautiously the woman crept out into the centre of the clearing. She was almost there. Slowly, out of fear of loosing it, she fished out of her pocket a small round disc. If only there was some light! Although grateful than the moonless night had helped to hide her, she desperately needed to see the disc. A thought flittered across her mind. The lighter! She had bought it from a stall back in the town. Anxious to get away from the stall owner without drawing attention to herself she had bought one of the lighters he was trying to sell. A smile passed across her face at the thought of that memory. He had been so insistent she bought something. Poor man. Pulling the lighter out from her other pocket the woman desperately tried to set it alight. Twice she tried but each time it sparked and fizzed out. She silently cursed the rain, not for the first time that night, before attempting it for a third time. This time it hissed into flame and desperate to read the disc before the rain put it out she lifted the disc up to the light. At first the light glinted off its flawless, polished surface with nothing to suggest that this was anything more than a thin sliver of silver in the shape of a perfect circle. Anxiously she glanced around. Please let it work she prayed, please, before anyone caught up with her. She didn’t think she’d been followed but she couldn’t be sure. Certainly he was desperate to get hold of the artefact and it wasn’t too much to assume that his followers were also following the clues that she herself had followed. Was she in the right place? Surely she must be. She had worked too hard and too long to be wrong at the final hurdle. Maybe the translation of that last parchment had been wrong afterall. One of the words could have been translated into several different words and there was no guarantee she’d chosen the right solution. Noiselessly she began to count in an effort to calm herself and before she had reached three the disc had begun to emit a faint glow. The glow increased in intensity until finally it began to form a shape. She paused and held her breath, willing herself to be patient. The translation had been right. An arrow began to form on the surface of the disc, pointing towards a large oak tree to her left. She breathed a sigh of relief and crept over to the oak tree.

It was a large oak tree, at least 1000 years old given its breadth. In the daylight its majestic branches and broad leaves would give the impression of a serene forest guardian. Now however the tree seemed to loom out of the darkness filling her with a deep sense of foreboding. It seemed unnatural that not even spiders dared to approach the clearing or this tree. Perhaps somethings are better left untouched. No, it had to be taken, rescued even before he or his followers found it. They certainly would have no scruples about taking it. The woman knelt at the foot of the oak and began to brush away the loose dirt from around the trunk. Carefully she pressed her hands against the trunk and slowly began to slide them across the bark until she felt a paper thin gap. She dug her fingernails in and prised away a door, revealing a small compartment. She couldn’t risk using the lighter again so she felt around the compartment until she found it. Trembling she lifted a wooden box out of the oak tree. She marvelled at its beauty. Such a small box, such a magnificent box, but a box which contained a treasure too valuable to fall into the wrong hands. Her fingers lightly traced the emblem on its lid. She had finally found it.

Before she could reveal in her discovery she felt something brush her neck. Without warning a thin cold piece of wire was pressed against her neck, chocking away her breath. She struggled in vain, grasping at the wire to free herself. He held firm, squeezing the life from her until she fell limp. He let go of the wire, letting her body slump to the ground. Quickly he prised the box from her fingers and without a glance at her hurried back into the trees. He knew his master would not allow him the luxury to admire the treasure but he did allow himself a small satisfied grin. They had won.


Copyright Sarah MacLean 2005